By Lori Purdy Faitel – Brain Injury Advocate & Author “Am I Brain Damaged? Memoir of Return to Life After my Brain Injury”
I recently spoke at a Brain Injury Support meeting in St. Joseph, MI. The group consisted of people with Brain Injuries, the injuries ranged from blows to the head to strokes. Also in attendance were some families and caregivers.
One question I vividly remember was “Were you ever REALLY depressed?”
Yes I was!
I remember praying to God, long before I was able to speak my thoughts. Please just let me die.
When I was a child in san diego talking to my dad; Dad told me that the one thing God could not forgive me for would be suicide/ if I killed myself. For that reason, and that reason alone I did not commit suicide. Thank you Dad.
The next important question is What made me so depressed? And; What made me be the happy person I am today.
For what felt like years, and was probably a year or just a little over a year after the injury as I began having complete thoughts again buy n viagra after my 7-day coma, everything I attempted I was unable to do.
I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I truly knew how to change the channel on the TV, for example, but the procedure I needed to follow was lost in at the time of the brain injury.
Not only physical acts, but also hugely I had difficulty understanding the non-brain injured. Why did they all get upset when something happened like stubbing their toe? I couldn’t even walk. I would have been happy to walk.
Back then I remember thinking I hated the non-brain injured because they just did not get it.
What made me accept and become the happy person I am today? My faith. One morning as I was re-learning how to blow-dry my hair I came upon a snarl. As I pulled and stretched my hair and my hair brush I prayed “Dear Lord, why am I alive, look I can’t do anything!” At that moment I saw the words in my mind “just because”.
I asked and God replied.
Not a great answer but one use I could understand at the time and it satisfied me.